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Arcana Profane

by Unicorn Hole

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M0SHB1T thumbnail
M0SHB1T The whole album contains songs full of fresh and polished sounding eargasms that show that Unicorn Hole can still invent himself new with every new release. Which Witch Two instantly shows what business will happen and sets the whole tone of the album. Diverse and playful synths, super catchy choruses and fat break downs will be sprinkled with occasional raps and experimental styles. If you think it can't get better, wait for the next release and be amazed. He always delivers 110 %. Favorite track: Which Witch Two.
Bry thumbnail
Bry The NCU at it's best!

With some surprisingly catchy choruses and deliciously heavy breakdowns, Arcana Profane is equal parts D&D-style fantasy story and some of the best Nintendocore around.

This album really feels like an entire adventure, with softer catchier songs contrasting with much the heavier ones.

Any song including the character Garth is guaranteed to be some of the heaviest stuff you've heard in a while.
Favorite track: Mismatch / Impact.
  • Digital Album
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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Chapter 4 of the NCU comes shrink wrapped and features unique front, back, and disc art by Pat Garland! Heck yeah! (The disc art is for buyers' eyes only!) Quantities are limited, so nab one quick!

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  • This pack includes Uhole's three latest full-lengths: Legend of the Light Gem, Arcana Profane, and The Storm. In one fell swoop you have three chapters of the overarching story, and at a discounted price!
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“I want a good, clean fight!” Grub asks “got it? Alright? No tail slaps girls- no bites!” Kat and Astrid grasp their stones and prepare for their daily bout Kat tries to maintain her focus as from the sidelines Grub shouts “Whoever loses has to do all my chores for the next week!” Astrid calls back “in your dreams!” without missing a beat Then she blasts a fireball at Kat But it’s snuffed in the air- “you better do better than that!” Then by earth and water Kat fires mud at her foe But Astrid’s lighting reflexes render the blast too slow Forces of nature- taken on human form Now second nature- each girl is her own storm Five elements conjured within- Fire, water, earth, lightning, and wind Become the danger- or it becomes your end Astrid fights back frustration, elects determination She shows her fire stone to Kat and gaudily prepares to attack To void the spell Kat holds her own fire stone behind her back Her sleight of hand successful, Astrid casts a waterfall Earth gem in her other hand, Kat can’t defend at all The wave slams Kat down into the mat Astrid grabs her volt gem to end the combat But Kat predicts Astrid’s plan, and Defends- a volt gem gleams in her raised hand Astrid fights back frustration, elects determination She and Kat both share a common foundation Both know witch battles like the back of their hands Which they see often casting lightning or sands Moreso they know each other- know weaknesses, although They’ve also learned to predict and prevent decisive blows Kat is proud as they both grow And new techniques are mastered But Astrid the elder feels entitled to grow much faster As Kat recovers Astrid slaps the volt stone from her hand Kat is caught quite off guard- this wasn’t part of her plan Astrid has won the match as Kat is unable to defend Not too rare an occurrence, though Kat herself seldom wins Kat grins and says “good job!” Astrid says “thanks, you too!” Ghael says “now stick around- this evening I’ve got work for you”
Ghael gathers the gang “Seems a witch from Boraea Has brought trouble to Bristol’s bustle Seems whispers are growing louder We must prevent a public tussle "We have reason to believe she plans to burn a barracks down Her motives are beyond me but we can’t let her turn this town "I helped to save this kingdom all those years ago A fact that damn near every Ellurian knows "Still Phoebe takes in new girls each year Off-colored eyes dumped off with their peers We must preserve what respect remains here We must stop this witch- we must persevere! "Things could be better for us, but I have seen far worse For our kin we fight to prevent what we could not reverse "A certain man who joined the king’s army at a young age Prone to outrage, he seems eager to engage The King’s Right Hand- the strongest man in this kingdom Fought his way up the ranks- all saw him overcome If we spite him we might succumb "Although past misdeeds can never be undone I will break each thread of the web they have spun”
The suspect block is scoured Their mark is found in mere hours A twenty-something with hair pulled to a single braid Even outnumbered, she looks far from afraid “Since you just barged right in” she says “I will take you for foes” Grub says “I forgot my boots but, yeah We’re here to step on toes” “I heard about you three” she says “and figured we would meet But I didn’t expect that it would take less than a week” “We’ve eyes and ears” says Astrid “up and down these streets Come willingly, or brace yourself for defeat!” Kat says “wait, let’s back up” and asks her for her name “It might be wasted on your tongue Now wouldn’t that be a shame? Katrina the kind-hearted, and Astrid the dexterous I don’t need your sentiments Let’s just see if you’re worth all the fuss” She raises her right hand, eager to make her stand A barrage of icicles erupts out from within her palm Grub darts off behind cover Kat and Astrid split right and left and manage to keep their calm Their foe is from the frigid Mistral Mountains of northern Elluryah They’ve seen spells like this before Specialized water magic conceived in Boraea Kat and Astrid prove to be worth their salt The first round is concise and well fought “We’ve heard what you are planning But what could you be thinking? Witches sail stormy waters- we must fight to keep from sinking” “You and Astrid are just kids- fighting for a lost cause Sharks tirelessly follow with ever-open jaws” “Sharks frenzy when there’s blood- which you intend to spill” “I’m not afraid of sharks- because I’m not afraid to kill” “We will not let you undo everything that we’ve fought for” Astrid chimes in “I’ve heard enough- it’s time for an encore” “Two-on-one is hardly fair” a voice from the entrance declares But then if I step in, the two of you can’t hope to fare” “About time you got back- these are the ones we heard about” The rival witches square up and prepare to go all out Gems gripped tight, it’s time to fight
Two new witches in town, of no renown That won’t be talked down Clearly they’ve thought up a plot and will not leave unfought Won’t turn around, no, they’ll rebound Gems grasped, ready to cast Introductions passed, don’t even ask Number Two sprays flames at Kat But Kat sways and stays a ways away from that Number One, not to be outdone Fires ice but Astrid’s able to outrun Astrid and Kat now both up to bat Kat thinks of rain and Astrid of the sun Two’s flames are drowned; One’s ice is seared down Kat counters with mud but it thuds to the ground Astrid throws a quick kick; Number One is disarmed But she smirks, unharmed- clearly not alarmed Something about this fight Just doesn’t sit quite right Two halves of a single soul Subverting its own goal One shows Astrid two empty palms Composed and calm, has she already withdrawn? But then she casts ice again Was it stored within? And if not, what then? Astrid, perplexed, left with no time to check She avoids the vertex but she feels the effects Cuts on her calves cut her speed in half What strange, arcane powers does One have? Two is in trouble, as Kat casts in doubles Throws her own spells and turns Two’s to puddles A frantic stone swap botched- Two’s gem dropped Kat waits “pick it up, or be smart and just stop” But Kat’s kindness is also her blindness Two finds her mindless, and swaps stones behind this Her barrage of snow may blow quite slow But Kat, surprised, is pinned as the pile grows One says “even with no stone I can cast my ice spells My friend here will soon obtain this power as well” Astrid can no longer run due to her freezing pain She too is pinned under snow, her struggling is in vain “Withered old Ghael can’t offer the special skills I’ve got We could kill both of you right now, but on second thought- If you want true power find us, we’ll let you meet the seer Oh, my name’s Nora and Shina is the new recruit here”
The gang explains everything to Ghael She is surprised- displeased that her students could fail Astrid describes Nora’s skill to cast without a stone Ghael is skeptical for such power is unknown Arcana profane Days pass, rumors amass The girls can’t help but feel outclassed But Ghael keeps them steadfast Fight to forego this forecast Spells blast, limits are passed The girls won’t again be surpassed No, Ghael keeps them steadfast Fight to forego this forecast Grub’s commentary lightens things when they’re too heavy “Hey, I’ll take them next time I just wasn’t ready Remember in Shinrin I showed that thug my true power” Kat recalls “Oh and Astrid still owes me a purple flower!” But danger remains Ghael keeps the girls focused on their own progress Grub does his best to keep them free from distress But Astrid isn’t receptive- rather she is obsessed Grub feels there’s something that she’s keeping repressed Ghael says next time Kat will be the one to face Nora “Your skills are better suited to contest her rare aura” Astrid trades sleep for study
The smell of blood is so thick they can taste it “Whatever went on here- someone’s erased it” Garth had seen a few scenes just like this before Wade was warned but not quite prepared for A dozen robed men felled by blades Now twenty-four pieces left on display A slaughter expertly carried out Not one slash wasted, no timely bout Stranger still- Money and valuables lie on the floor Clearly not what the swords had come for And it seems they left nothing at all Aside from a fresh coat of paint on the wall Garth tells Wade that it’s been a few years But he’s seen this group’s work in the past “These robe guys though- guess they’re new here” “Too bad there’s no one left to ask” Wade asks Garth what they should do Garth replies “I know nothing more than you Maybe our seer will find us a clue” And then adds “It’s beyond my purview “What has become of this mighty kingdom? She is diseased, I can see the symptoms Warriors unwilling to fight for our king Some unwilling to fight for anything “Witches and mages wield such power but They didn’t earn a single thing that they’ve got And then with their gifts, undeservingly dealt They seek only to serve themselves It makes me sick!” Garth continues “who were these guys in the robes? I don’t have a clue but clearly someone out there knows Someone killed Silver but no one seems to know who Imagine the damage monsters like these could do! "Now two witches and a mage have come down from up north Straight to the back alleys according to reports Spellcasters, demonslayers These robed men, and those with blades I’ll collect answers or heads, mark my words, Wade!”
Finally a lead brings the gang to their marks “You don’t look ready to fall in” Nora remarks Behind the barracks- Garth just beyond the wall Kat urges “please, there’s no need for a brawl” But before Nora can respond, Astrid charges towards Shina Lightning drawing her path across the arena Shina is struck and stunned, Astrid leaps for a side kick But Nora knocks her from her path with a blast of snow so thick That it can’t be from a stone alone Kat does what she must and counters with fire Nora turns the intensity up even higher An avalanche roaring from her hands Kat conjures combustion the best that she can A fire stone in each hand and pushing her limits Both girls can withstand but neither can win it The struggle rages on Kat shouts out “this has to end now We need to talk this out somehow If we leave the streets battered and charred Then we reopen healing scars "I can’t claim to understand your goals But I know the bruises on your souls I’ll drop my stones, remove all doubt I don’t want to fight, I want to help you out” Shina sheds a tear, then her stones Nora raises her hands “guess I fight alone” Astrid blindsides Shina, she falls out cold Kat’s heart sinks as things unfold Just then Garth rounds the corner “Now take a look at this- A secret coven? But, oh! Something’s amiss?”
Garth scans the scene- looks down his nose On his face the day’s last light glows Over a sea of shadows “Three of you belong to Ghael Two of you I’ve never seen I’ve heard you’re from up north And here to achieve something obscene” Nora’s eyes dart around- in the path where she could flee An ally of Garth stands, bow drawn and ready Kat stands distraught with no means to defend If Nora takes her out maybe it would distract her friends Quickly she starts to charge And blast icicle shards Grub hops in front of Kat, his dinky shield grasped tight It absorbs most of the blow, seems they’ll both be alright Nora raises a hand at Wade, shouts “move, let me get by!” Wade stays so she blasts ice But takes an arrow through the thigh She and Wade both go down, Garth moves to check on Wade Astrid moves in on Nora, Garth screams aloud- outraged Nora asks Astrid “what could you gain from this fight? I gained power beyond yours- no longer finite” “But your plan will put all witches under attack” “The stigma will never cease- we may as well fight back” Garth rises and tells Astrid “you get out of my way Because I don’t mind crushing you too Should you decide to stay” His hundred-pound warhammer held high above his head He charges Nora- Astrid darts away just as he said Nora blasts a barrage of ice with force enough to kill But Garth’s royal armor deflects it all and he charges still The hammer falls with unreal force Bones shatter, she screams- the sound of sheer remorse Her left leg battered into an unfamiliar shape Grub blocks Kat’s view- she sits wide eyed with mouth agape The hammer rises again- Nora has no hope of getting away Astrid looks away as Grub shouts “That’s enough, you got her, okay?” Garth seems to be unphased Enraged, it seems that he’s crazed With a shout he swings his hammer, Nora closes her eyes When “don’t do it!” Wade calls out, much to Nora’s surprise Garth stops, looks back to Wade- sees that he is okay Tells Nora she may live, but live to regret this day “And to you three under Ghael- if you ever hinder me Remember your friend here- you might be this lucky” Nora tells the gang “thanks- we didn’t plan your role But I think you’ve lead my group even closer to our goal”
Roots that intertwine bind to their common ground But will variables find each one unbound? Dissonance within brought about from without But will dichotomy prove the only route? Upon being briefed on the way that the evening unfolded Ghael is outraged that her gang couldn’t better control it “Kat, I had you fight Nora because you’re stronger than Astrid But I guess it’s wasted if pleading and crying is all you did” Astrid chimes in “I won the last time that we sparred And I beat my mark tonight yet Kat’s held in higher regard?” Ghael says “just like tonight, Kat’s always holding back If you were as good as you think then you’d be able to see that I’m off to meet with Ghenim Come Grub, we need to go” “You could show them the slightest bit of sympathy, you know?” Grub remarks as he and Ghael head out the door Then adds “is this not the first time they’ve ever failed before?” “I am a trainer, Grub- I am not a mother We aren’t all here to coddle one another” “Well I’d argue that you’re both You can support without spoiling, you know?” “I’ll leave that stuff up to you You’re great with Kat, at one time Astrid too” “She and I have grown apart, sometimes her actions worry me” “Astrid does what she must, I can’t say that I agree” Back home the girls sit alone, Kat’s not sure what to say When Astrid asks “is it true? Do you spar with me that way?” Telling a lie is something Kat could never do “It’s just that winning matters so much more to you” “You know I’d be stronger if you’d not been benign Your special gift makes you strong, while I am left behind” “When I’ve won in the past, you’d often be upset” “For a moment, but experience is a valuable asset” “When you knocked my stone away You won for real, you know?” “How great for me- for a single day I escaped from your shadow” Astrid quietly leaves the house, Kat retreats to their room Tries to come up with a plan but disappointment looms Echoes of the evening resound in Astrid’s mind Perceived ineptitude has her stuck in a bind Ghael and Grub meet Ghenim under the veil of dark To discuss, for one, what Nora meant by her last remark
Ghael and Grub meet up with Ghenim To discuss the state of things with him Robed figures slaughtered, rogue witches employed The peace they’ve enjoyed may soon be destroyed Ghael and Ghenim some twenty years ago Helped defeat Elluryah’s unsurpassed greatest foes A group of cultists with some bizarre skills Who nearly bent the entire kingdom to their will Grub asks “so, you think that they’re back?” Ghael responds “it’s too soon to say that But who hired witches to burn the barracks? Was murder the goal, or hysterics? “Garth knows now it was their plan Rousing news- insane man He only does good as he is told An earthquake just barely controlled” Ghenim is no less displeased “Garth brings naught but unease “They murdered our late king, but Garth kept the prince alive A child charmed by his savior- his Right Hand had arrived “Garth is loyal to our king, and cares greatly for his men Hate to admit he’s an asset if they should rise again” Ghael chimes in “so foe of a foe is a friend? Let him become a martyr- then everybody wins “Don’t forget what I turned down Because Garth became the King’s Right Hand” Grub says “you say that but Would you follow orders from some other man?” Ghenim butts in “as I recall, You didn’t want to join our army at all” Ghael looks away and says “fine, But truly Garth had me even more appalled “The question stands- are we prepared if they should return? Despite the mines collapsed and literature burned They swore that when we grew weak they would be back Can we defend ourselves and counterattack? “My girls are in need of more training Their powers grow, but time is waning I’ll make them stronger, days will grow longer They’ll be our best defense against the warmongers” Grub says “just don’t forget you’re discussing people here They aren’t weapons, and they could choose to disappear” Ghenim nods and adds “and you mentioned the mines I’ll ask the king to have them checked one last time And hope that we find only peace of mind”


Unicorn Hole's fourth full-length album also happens to be the fourth chapter of the NCU. Kat, Astrid, and Grub find themselves up against a witch with impossible powers and a sinister plan. The stakes are higher than just physical damage, however, as the kingdom's relationship with witches is already a volatile one. Can the gang defeat or dissuade their foe before things get out of hand?

If you haven't checked out the previous chapters of the NCU, you should start there! Arcana Profane specifically follows chapter one- Legend of the Light Gem!




Instrumental version of this album:

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released September 30, 2017

Unicorn Hole is John Nelson. Some riffs from tracks 3, 6, 8, and 9 were written by these rad dudes: Andrew Viggiano, Jesse Williams, and Shawn Gleaton. The aspects of the mixing that sound good were done by Tyler Hendricks. I did the other parts. Big thanks to Denny Macchiato for repeatedly checking my mixes and helping improve them. The NCU banner was created by Zachary Foster. Julian Vaughan did a lot of proof-reading and story-checking. The Uhole logo was made by Diana Garvin.

Art created by Pat Garland:

Huge thanks to these awesome folks for making physicals a real thing:
Joshua Cope, Jerry Cozart, Joona Kortelainen, Christopher Kurschies, Jordon Butler, Denny Macchiato, Micah Jordan, Mike Risser, Sean Greenhill, Kimberly M Detro, Nate Evans, Julian Vaughan, Mitchell R Boyett, Joseph Schmoock, Abbi Lau, Jeff Lauck, Dustin Elmore, Sebastian Herrmann, Chase Fincher, Donovan Charles


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Unicorn Hole Lexington, South Carolina

Uhole is a nintendocore band from South Carolina, since 2007

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