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HD Remakes Round 1

by Unicorn Hole and Pals

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1.
Hey Link, get off your butt- grow a pair of Deku Nuts First save the Deku Tree, you tree hugging hippie Stop playing with your Deku Stick, and Raid that spider bitch Don't call me "fairy boy," you horsey whore Bitch, please! I've got the Master Sword Side-hoppin Hyrule Field, straight for Gannondorf Bitch, please! I've got the Master Sword Seven years pass... Link awakens, now complete with pubes Can't stop thinking about Zelda's boobs But they can wait, I'm going fishing I would relax, but Navi won't stop bitching Back to work, slay the phantom and the dragon If I don't hurry those boobs will be sagging The water temple is full of Link's tears Because it cost him another seven years Shadow and Spirit, collect more hearts and shit Visit the Great Fairies, and their triangle tits Poopmaster, show us what you've got! (1:45ish to 2:25ish music written by Poopmaster) Storm into Gannon's castle, sword into Gannon's asshole I am the king of Hyrule, my name is Link and I rule Original: https://soundcloud.com/uhole/uholedust Vocal guest: https://soundcloud.com/dustin-elmore-906725760 Music guest: https://www.facebook.com/thepoopmaster/
2.
Welcome to the song about the man behind the midi I'll tell you a bit about myself, so that you won't feel shitty About all the times that thanks to my music you came Without even knowing my name My name is Gigleorex, I'm an escaped government aircraft Fled area 104, which b-t-dubbs is twice as bad "Never heard of it" you say? That's my point exactly I killed a nasty human baby and assumed his identity I quite enjoyed the luxury Of shitting any time and place I pleased And don't even get me started On having someone clean the mess for me I wouldn't say that I'm the Coolest dude who ever walked the earth Instead I'll sing it, so thank my mom for giving birth (to me) I would elaborate But I'm so great you could not comprehend That's why this singing part comes to a sudden end (like this) When I was ten years old dinosaurs took over the world So I went back in time and killed them all off long before I altered evolution in the past on my way back Hey dudes, in reference to boobs- you're welcome for that After the ice age, I grew bored pretty soon So I explored the north, like way up north- as in the moon I made some craters just cause I needed to vent I leapt back to earth, hit Arizona, left a great big dent Oh, you think I'm lying? Think this all sounds too great? Alright I'll admit I did exaggerate I didn't really kill each dinosaur dead I kept one raptor alive and raised him as a pet When Chip Zealot comes in! (2:55ish to 3:45ish music written by Chip Zealot) One more little detail before the song is finished For what it's worth I'm told that I'm schizophrenic Original: https://kittyonfirerecordsarchive.bandcamp.com/album/kittycore-vol-2 Vocal guest - https://soundcloud.com/thelimitdoesnotexist Music guest - https://soundcloud.com/chipzealot
3.
"Laugh at me, Caterpie all you like But when I'm Butterfree, I'll be wondrous sight" And Weedle is feeble, but he'll be a Beedrill All mega'd up, now he'll net like fifteen kills Are those guys too flimsy for you? Then Mega Heracross should do Arms like tree trunks, crushing who he likes Went to the gym with Knuckles and Ike Need a bug that looks metal a f Like looking into the face of death? Good news, you can stop waitin' Mega Pinsir looks like Satan You think that you can sweep us under the rug You'd best think twice! Cause these bugs are straight-up thugs You think you can look down on us Just because we're, like, small and stuff Left alone we can be pretty docile But pick a fight and our might is colossal! Evaleigh go! (1:25ish to 2:00ish music written by Evaleigh) You can't sweep us under the rug Cause these bugs are straight up thugs Psychics are afraid of us And they know more than you, so take the clue Peek into the crack of Shedinja's back It'll suck your soul into the black Doesn't get much more brutal than that And that's not even an attack! We finally got a bug legendary Techno-blasting those unwary If you wanna get mega-rekt Just start some beef with Genesect You can't swat us out of the sky Cause these bugs will never die You can't hurt us with bug spray Cause these bugs got guts for days You can't sweep us under the rug Cause these bugs are straight-up thugs Original: https://pixelatedterror.bandcamp.com/track/elite-4-bug Vocal guest - https://www.facebook.com/Zombie-Shark-184088314944254/ Music guest - https://evaleigh.bandcamp.com/
4.
When my cars get dirty, I throw em away When my hos get dirty, I give em a raise Cars may not stay, and hos fade with age But I still got cash all day every day Been shot four times but it's no big deal Been to jail more times cause I keep it real I'll kill, I will, won't chill, don't feel Like it motherfucker, I'm a gangsta still But I wasn't always this gangsta I remember the days before we grew to be so old Play tag, play some video games Fuck yeah let's dig some holes! Hours in cabinets and clothes baskets playing hide and seek PBJs and ramen noodles were the only things we'd eat My calculator watch tells me that it's 3:59 Drop whatever you're doing, cause it's almost time Run as hard as you can, oh shit we gotta see Today's episode of Dragon Ball Z When we were little kids There wasn't such a thing as danger We knew if shit got real that We'd be saved by the Power Rangers And we only knew one kind of drama- "Holy shit! Who turned the floor into lava?" No I won't mention the pink ranger's boobies Back then all we could gain from girls was cooties I swear we watched some funny shit on the TV If you know who loves orange soda, Then you know what I mean But kids these days live inside of their phones And most twelve-year-olds have kids of their own We're the product of Nintendo 64s They're the product of shit like Jersey Shores And now we're old as fuck, and being old really sucks Except the freedom, driving, money, and having sex too Nevermind, kids are lame so being old is what we'll do (From 2:25ish onward, music written by Falcon Pawnch!) This final Spirit Bomb requires some extra ki Lend me your strength Falcon Pawnch and Shotgun Guy We set out to find Waldo, we need clues It's so dark, but we've got rad light-up shoes As a gang we're as tough as the Street Sharks Jacked up on Surge, romping through the town parks On our chest- the ultimate crest That badass, hard-to-draw, six-lined S Original: https://kittyonfirerecords.bandcamp.com/track/today-more-like-too-gay-am-i-right Vocal guest: https://www.facebook.com/ShotgunGuyNXC/ Music guest: https://www.facebook.com/Falcon-Pawnch-140069902693743/
5.
Let's talk about the walking dead Jowls hang down from their heads Angry, slow, and unclean And it's old people we mean Wake at 4 AM and skip the shower Drive a solid 25 mph Still manage to hit a few cars But who cares cause bingo's about to start! Bingo, where old folks play Bingo, home of the gray Grand-pimps get funky with grannies Cause they got ten times the crannies By noon bingo is dead That's fine, it's time for bed Mostly already dead We're all infected, science serves only to delay None unaffected, one day we'll all be grays We're all infected, and it comes much to my dismay None unaffected, one day we'll all be grays We're all infected, kill yourself before it's too late None unaffected, kill yourself before it's too late (1:25ish to 1:45ish music written by She Wants the D-Pad) She Wants the D-Pad! And no I'm not talking about your great granny She doesn't get puns even though her name is Fanny If she heard this shit she would have three heart attacks Sorry grandma- Mitch, Chase, and I don't hold back Sunday, scrape off the crust Go to church, check on Jesus Other days they mix up the mix Just stay home and watch their soaps The neighbor wanted a nap, but today there is no hope Brave some stairs if you're feeling tough Oops you've fallen and you can't get up Just a broken hip, so worth it Lunch at the cracker barrel, hard candy for dessert Dressed in their nicest pants that eat almost all of their shirt Or maybe just sit and stare at the phone as they grow numb Waiting for a call from their grand kids that will never come They've forgotten about you, but you forgot their names too "What if your grandparents hear all of your awful words?" That isn't possible; I'm not releasing any vinyl records "But what if they find these lyrics and they read them all?" That isn't possible; this text is way too small "But what if someone tells them the things that you had to say?" Well that just won't matter at all, cause they'll forget anyway Original: https://soundcloud.com/uhole/some-shit-i-better-talk-while Vocal guest - https://soundcloud.com/poopty_pewpty_paints Music guest - https://www.facebook.com/swtdpad/

about

Unicorn Hole has been around for nearly a decade now, but only recently started using realistic VSTs in place of raw midi. This EP contains five tracks mega-evolved into modern Uhole madness. To keep things interesting, each track also features a guest vocalist, and a guest composer adding a short bridge. This EP also features a bonus track available only to those who download!

Grab the instrumental version here:
tinyurl.com/2p95df9e

And the sequel to this album here:
uholeband.com/album/hd-remakes-round-2

And the conclusion to the trilogy here:
uholeband.com/album/hd-remakes-round-3

Help Unicorn Hole play a show on the moon:
www.patreon.com/unicornhole

credits

released February 29, 2016

I allow my vocal guests to record lines wherever they like, so if you're curious about who sung what, feel free to ask! The guest composers are credited in the lyrics of their respective songs. Note that the guests wrote ALL of the music for their parts, including the guitars and drums. I mixed everything in my style, but the composition is all theirs! The bonus track was written roughly 50/50 by Yakui the Maid and myself. The production credit goes to Yakui for this one. The song is based on track eleven from my "return of the revenge" full-length. Check out more from Yakui here: soundcloud.com/yakuitehmaid

As usual, I need to thank Tyler Hendricks for all his help with production and Chris Kurschies of Poopmaster for his feedback on my mixes and composition. Uhole relies on them to release quality Nintendocore! Finally, the cover art was drawn in MS Paint by me, but the Street Shark design is based heavily upon JTF3's original drawing. You can check out his work here: jtf3.deviantart.com

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Unicorn Hole Lexington, South Carolina

Uhole is a nintendocore band from South Carolina, since 2007

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