Knuckles is strong- he can glide and he can dig Tails can fly- there's no machine he can't rig Shadow gets emo chicks and uses guns to cap some ass Sonic the Hedgehog, well he runs real fast I hate to say it, but it must be said Sonic the Hedgehog, everybody knows your name But I'm having trouble justifying your fame Your friends are better than you, yeah you should be ashamed It must be hard to be so lame, that you're the worst in your own game Tails and Eggman- both brilliant scientists Shadow has a dark past with some sappy twists Knuckles- the sworn protector as far back as the prologue Sonic's backstory is chili dogs Stranded on a desert island, I'd even choose Big the Cat over you His skill could feed a man for life, While a puddle on the beach has you subdued And remember that time you met that kid With down's syndrome a few years ago? And like a true asshole, the first thing you said to him was "You're too slow!"

Now that I've learned each game till the last one was gone Tonight's the night- the real game is on I'll have it done before the break of dawn My Mega Man Mega Marathon One through ten, and all the Xs too I'll beat them all, yeah I will breeze right through I won't lose one life, or miss one lemon pitch All night long Wiley will be my bitch My years of training are paying off Instead of weeping, bosses only make me scoff Level by level, and game by game I kick each boss' ass and make em look hella lame I start the final game with an hour to spare I seek the final boss, and have no trouble getting there When he's dead I'll be done; there will be nothing more And I've kicked this dude's shit a million times before But wait.. What's this? Something is wrong What the hell is going on? His sprite is messed up.. Why are his eyes red? His health bar shows that he's already dead "You're done well to come this far But you'll find that you've found a foe too bizarre My powers are too great for you to comprehend I am Glitch Man, and I will be your end" Oh no you won't! I have come too far, I will not stand by and fail my perfect run You will go down like the rest! The final battle has begun Oh no! He lands a hit He uses moves that don't even exist Tanks my attacks, hit after hit Now the controller is zapping my hands But I will make him pay for ruining my plans I'm running low on health now, he seems to be invincible Maybe thinking that I could win was just me being a fool.. But wait! It seems his health bar has rolled back around It's full right now, but I can whittle it down It's game over if I take just one hit, but I'm focused, I know this- I can do it! I finish Glitch Man off, and gain his power too I wonder what the heck this new move will do Mega Man stands in a strange new room So I try it out with no further ado When I press the button, Glitch Man's face fills the screen Startled, I let out an embarrassing scream "I let you think you'd won, just to crush your dreams And your perfect run has been erased, so it seems But you can't do it over Because from now until you meet your doom Every game you play will glitch and turn into Sonic Boom" "Noooooooooo, please just kill me!" Don't fuck with Glitch Man

Changing in spades and laid to waste- everything I'd known One of the few left with volition of my own My connections would supply their weapons My infection would keep me unthreatened They'd sense my plaga and I'd be spared of attack That is, of course, unless I tried to fight back Or tried to arm anyone with different blood This contract they made sure I understood Then in the darkness a glimmer of hope shone A man named Leon with a mission of his own I watched him rest the souls of countless ganados He sought to destroy the ones who ran the show He received our curse before long, But had a means to suppress it I intended to help him along, And now I could safely confess it I supplied him with the tools to travel through the danger To avoid suspicion I charged and always called him stranger I made his weapons unique- far better than the rest Supplied a range for him, and he never failed to impress Our alliance of stock and skill was the solution To how Leon and I would find our retribution I stood by my ally- always I followed nearby Ensured nothing went awry- I knew he'd keep me alive At last Leon had found his final confrontation Against the master plaga- evil's incarnation It was time to bring their story to a close To sever and destroy the head of the Illuminados Having bid Sadler his final adieu I thought that we would leave- I thought I'd start anew Leon escaped, and left the monsters to their doom But I guess that I thought wrong, because he left me too I watched him ride away into the sunrise I would have called it lies, if I'd not seen with my own eyes He never looked back- did I even cross his mind? Was saving my life not worth the extra time? He didn't look back..

Lived in the shadow of the mountain I sat beneath the tree at night I said exactly what I thought I didn't care enough to lie My own father is disgusting, and my mother is too The wickedness in them I also saw in you The only honest folk I know- a family of wretched spider beasts Cursed to appear outside the way we truly are beneath I left it all behind, was happy to forget The only one I ever missed was my pet Then there you stood, my pet with you He was happy, I knew that you must be a nice guy too That was the last thing that I saw before I was subdued I wasn't warned, even though I know she knew She knew and did nothing She let me die She saw my end, but didn't try They made me what I am- a monster inside and out I'm not a nice guy anymore, so I'll wait for you to put me down

Under a blistering sun we endured searing winds Which carried sand that battered us to no end And when the moon took to the stage again A frigid gale ensured our wounds would not mend Our culture cast out, our goddess banned The time had come for me to make a stand When atop their castle a Gerudo flag unfurled My new Hyrule would be known across the world As a sanctuary where we neglected no race And the royalty there currently would be disgraced I'm called The King of Evil- The King of Thieves How easily their king deceives them all If we're to be despised just because we're alive Then I'll give them a proper reason why! I won't deny that I was driven by my hate I did horrible things to get through that gate But I knew this was fate, and I would not cower I obtained the Triforce- the ultimate power But things did not go exactly as I had planned The Golden Power fractured in my hands My path had left me an unbalanced man So pure, brute force became my brand My strength was compelling- intoxicating I could not see that my vision was fading Fixed on the end, I lost sight of the fray Found myself behind that gate- and sealed away In a timeless state, in perpetual gloom Consumed by hate in that sacred room Sent by those kids to an eternal tomb I swore that I would be their doom And I did break free, and seek the Triforce again Pursued revenge fueled by the hate I'd grown within I crushed everything that dared stand in my way Gathered each golden shard but once again things went astray Despite my triumphs throughout the war I was denied of what I'd fought for The world I knew was swallowed by the sea Everything I loved was taken from me I had risen up, against all odds When their world failed to stop me, they sent their gods Fight for my people- my mission was succinct But I must live with the truth now- my people are extinct Lost in the blackness of the depths below It seems that misery is all their gods bestow Upon my race, seems failure is our lot Maybe I should just accept that.. ..but I will not