Laugh at me- "gay Kirby" all you like But in my nubby little arms I hold your life You think it's a joke- you think I'm here as a gag Until your laughter is muffled by your body bag I rest a wink, you rest in peace Vision goes pink, and you're deceased That's a lovely recovery that you've got there It would be a shame if something happened in the air Left you hopeless and tumbling to your demise It would be wise to realize that I own these skies Music to my ears are your screams This is not the face of mercy Bore me to sleep, yet I'm the one with sing Can't you do anything to stop The Jiggly Queen? I'll pound pound pound you into the ground Pants bound bound bound to end up browned

Two-thousand meters, where I draw the line And then upon your twisted body I will dine This mountain belongs to me The howling winds are a banshee You should have heeded her song Because you won't be on this earth for long Headed where you belong Ski as fast as you can, heart pounding, panic sets in Your skill might buy some time, but you simply cannot win You belong to me You don't get to ski free What's left of you is lost beneath the falling snow More remains lie within than anyone could know I'm not some villain that you get to defeat If you meet me, then you're just meat You cannot ski free, you belong to me

Walnuts, peanuts, pineapple smells But if you ain't got nanners you can go to hell And if ya think because I'm old I can't expand the dong Well then ya better think again because ya thought wrong Cranky Kong crushes crummy Kremlin MCs It's a breeze, wannabees get blown into debris While the other kongs conquer a couple crappy adventures I'm spitting sick rhymes like they were my dentures New kongs need extra dimensions to get any attention That ain't pretention, my ascension was a 2D invention And lemme mention I made hundreds of millions Long before your country and your kooky crocodilians These days I bring the pain with my cane Anyone who sasses me has gone insane, you say "If you're so great, why ain't ya been in Smash?" Cause then there'd only be two tiers: Cranky and trash It's time to crank it up, and I mean more than just a smidge It's time for Cranky Kong to take it to the fridge Some said that Tropical Freeze was way too tough That's why I finally decided to step up The first game to challenge me since the days of old Four times I nearly died, playing with my blindfold You youngins do not know who I am Crank this shit up And learn my name, play my game, say goddamn I'm the king of kongs I go feral, bring peril, barrel toss like a boss Want me to play nice? No dice, sorry hoss If you thought King Kong was the king you were wrong Sent him crying like a bitch, it's on like Cranky Kong I was droppin barrels back when you were drippin drool I'm rad to max, I'm old school cool

We scratched the sky, miles high Things were looking up But when we looked down we found the ground to be abrupt So when we'd taken more damage than we could stand We used our last mast to pass over the land We braced for impact, our fates seemed quite grim But we'd deemed water kinder, and knew how to swim We fell out of the sky, like a meteorite and then.. After the crash and the shock and the din We found our ship sinking with us sealed within Fight as we might, the ocean pressed tight We lost sight of all light, and accepted our plight Our cabins were flooding, our eyes were too Because there wasn't anything left for us to do We're still in our airship to this very day We've accepted the depths are where we'll always stay So join us! Visit our home deep below All are free to come, but we insist, don't go Whether home's nearby or far, far away We just know you'll choose to stay Some say it's dreary, clearly eerie A nice, long rest for those weary Whether home's nearby or far, far away We just know you'll choose to stay Just make yourself at home, no need to rush off and roam Relax, don't up and disappear, when you're here just be here Just make yourself at home, let tomorrow's worries be gone Free yourself of yesterday's fears, when you're here just be here "And forever remain! You will know our pain!" "Now pay him no mind. We don't hold a grudge. He just gets excited and talks too much.." Enjoy our great amenities, and mingle with late entities Just grab the orb to leave without a trace It's around here someplace.. "Forever remain! You'll rot here just as we did Become something truly morbid Your body will soften and break into pieces As our population increases" "Now don't listen to the dissenting voice! Our ship, for recourse, is a fantastic choice!"

The gates of sleep long rusted, among the trees I await Those lost or who mistrusted, and made their final mistake Never to be seen again, not by me or by their kin I simply deliver them directly to their end It may be their blood or bones, it may be their very souls I only know that human lives alone will fill the hole Some nights there are visions of a time from before I became this thing and embodied all the lore My actions are not truly of my volition And I never chose to accept this grotesque mission But if I fail to keep it fed The masses will know utter dread My own wickedness fails to compare Asylum would exist nowhere So I do what I'm programmed to My consciousness rarely cuts through Each ghastly myth perfectly true Object and it will use you too You'll belong to me! No, it's just some glitch in my mind I would never pity their wretched kind I display their fear and pain eightfold Their feeble minds beg to be controlled Evil exists in their brains- hardwired A small suggestion is all that's required Then their true nature will come to light It's why I agreed to haunt the night It must be fed, or this earth will know true dread Don't try to flee, for you already belong to me