Walnuts, peanuts, pineapple smells
But if you ain't got nanners you can go to hell
And if ya think because I'm old I can't expand the dong
Well then ya better think again because ya thought wrong
Cranky Kong crushes crummy Kremlin MCs
It's a breeze, wannabees get blown into debris
While the other kongs conquer a couple crappy adventures
I'm spitting sick rhymes like they were my dentures

New kongs need extra dimensions to get any attention
That ain't pretention, my ascension was a 2D invention
And lemme mention I made hundreds of millions
Long before your country and your kooky crocodilians
These days I bring the pain with my cane
Anyone who sasses me has gone insane, you say
"If you're so great, why ain't ya been in Smash?"
Cause then there'd only be two tiers: Cranky and trash

It's time to crank it up, and I mean more than just a smidge
It's time for Cranky Kong to take it to the fridge

Some said that Tropical Freeze was way too tough
That's why I finally decided to step up
The first game to challenge me since the days of old
Four times I nearly died, playing with my blindfold

You youngins do not know who I am
Crank this shit up
And learn my name, play my game, say goddamn
I'm the king of kongs

I go feral, bring peril, barrel toss like a boss
Want me to play nice? No dice, sorry hoss
If you thought King Kong was the king you were wrong
Sent him crying like a bitch, it's on like Cranky Kong

I was droppin barrels back when you were drippin drool
I'm rad to max, I'm old school cool