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Glitch Slap

from Songs Unsung by Unicorn Hole

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Now that I've learned each game till the last one was gone
Tonight's the night- the real game is on
I'll have it done before the break of dawn
My Mega Man Mega Marathon

One through ten, and all the Xs too
I'll beat them all, yeah I will breeze right through
I won't lose one life, or miss one lemon pitch
All night long Wiley will be my bitch

My years of training are paying off
Instead of weeping, bosses only make me scoff
Level by level, and game by game
I kick each boss' ass and make em look hella lame
I start the final game with an hour to spare
I seek the final boss, and have no trouble getting there
When he's dead I'll be done; there will be nothing more
And I've kicked this dude's shit a million times before

But wait.. What's this? Something is wrong
What the hell is going on?
His sprite is messed up.. Why are his eyes red?
His health bar shows that he's already dead
"You're done well to come this far
But you'll find that you've found a foe too bizarre
My powers are too great for you to comprehend
I am Glitch Man, and I will be your end"

Oh no you won't!
I have come too far, I will not stand by and fail my perfect run
You will go down like the rest! The final battle has begun

Oh no! He lands a hit
He uses moves that don't even exist
Tanks my attacks, hit after hit
Now the controller is zapping my hands
But I will make him pay for ruining my plans
I'm running low on health now, he seems to be invincible
Maybe thinking that I could win was just me being a fool..

But wait!
It seems his health bar has rolled back around
It's full right now, but I can whittle it down
It's game over if I take just one hit,
but I'm focused, I know this- I can do it!

I finish Glitch Man off, and gain his power too
I wonder what the heck this new move will do
Mega Man stands in a strange new room
So I try it out with no further ado

When I press the button, Glitch Man's face fills the screen
Startled, I let out an embarrassing scream
"I let you think you'd won, just to crush your dreams
And your perfect run has been erased, so it seems
But you can't do it over
Because from now until you meet your doom
Every game you play will glitch and turn into Sonic Boom"
"Noooooooooo, please just kill me!"
Don't fuck with Glitch Man


from Songs Unsung, released July 24, 2015


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Unicorn Hole Lexington, South Carolina

Uhole is a nintendocore band from South Carolina, since 2007

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