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Sidequest Gaiden (with Polygon Horizon and Codex Orzhova)

from HD Remakes Round 3 by Unicorn Hole

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(All synths composed by Polygon Horizon)
(Guest vocals by Chris of Polygon Horizon)

Into Mayoi No Mori we go
Poopmaster and his unicorn lady bro
Friends and allies, a dynamic duo
Can we defeat this tricky forest though?

This fabled place they say is hard to pass
Like a giant poo, a real pain in the ass
A thief claims your gear, a beast claims your life
You couldn’t kill the dragon with your pocket knife

We will find our way through this rotten place
Find the forest bottom bitch and smack him in the face

A stranger approaches, we take arms
But it seems he means no harm

"A thief robbed me, took my things away!
But I've a plan, please help me make him pay!"
"Sounds good" we say, "it's your lucky day
If he won't give it back then his guts will spray!"

"For the plan I will need to hold
That sword of yours, such shiny gold
You'll wait, I'll walk, he'll come to steal
You'll ambush him and seal the deal!"

He takes the sword, we watch him close
The thief sneaks up for another dose
We drop in, he tries to run away
And crosses a bridge that won't hold much weight

So we ditch our stuff and we head across
He's losing us, but he won't be lost
With a doodoo spell we make him slip
He falls hard enough to break an old man's hip

"You're a no-good thief, what have you got to say!?"
He rolls over now, we are confused by his face
"You two lose, the thief just got away!"
The thief and victim are one in the same

"You've been fooled by shadow clones!
All your stuff by now is long, long gone!
I have claimed your things today"
And then before our eyes the clone fades away

(Music from 2:21 to 2:56 composed by Codex Orzhova)

This thief must have read from a dark codex
Gifted a glimpse of the power of the Nine Hecks
Maybe made a best buddy of Beelzebub
To bring some shadow magic to the land above
No fair! How dare!?

“I can't believe this shit!
We let him get away with it!
No gear, I fear that we're stuck here"
Sasha sheds a single tear

No! There has to be a way
We've been lead astray, but we won't stay

A little later in the clear of calm
Poopmaster recalls he had a dookie bomb
With deep focus he remote detonates it
No pun here, the thief can eat that shit

Sasha follows her nose right to the thief
We find him with that-ain't-chocolate in his teeth
He never had a chance to pull a sword from sheath
Before we sent him to the fiery pits beneath

We have found our way through this rotten place
Found the forest bottom bitch and smuck him in the face

The mage and mount grow a bit more wise, and
Dramatically walk into the horizon

We didn't end up dead, or forever stuck
That dude at the tavern totally owes us ten bucks


from HD Remakes Round 3, released May 7, 2021


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Unicorn Hole Lexington, South Carolina

Uhole is a nintendocore band from South Carolina, since 2007

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