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2​👌​2👌 2

by Unicorn Hole

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nickoutros
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nickoutros Without losing a spec of humor, the boys assemble one of their most put together releases yet. Don't let the album art fool you, its a banger from start to finish. Great starter point for anyone who doesn't know the music. Favorite track: Beans Refried featuring A Challenger Approaches, Anti-PizzaBoy, Beanadryl, Bean Machine, The David Jones Band, Gizzzard Kicker, Glitch City Café, Leonhart, Murdering Mad Jack, Original Fangster, Polygon Horizon, Shotgun Guy, and TRVSHBXVT.
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1.
We survived 2020, or so we thought But that shit’s back again whether we want it or not Weekly Words and Grammar Runnin up that hill Bitches call me meatball Cuz spaghetti’s all I spill And ya boy Uhole with the old consoles Back again reminiscing of days of old It’s so cold, we’re way too old But we’ve still got truths to be told So it’s that time again, when your best n-core friends Step in to make amends, absolve you of your sins Make sure that the bullshit ends So grab a Baja Blast, and plop down on your ass Behold the spell that we cast, shatter anything glass Make sure the bullshit ends fast “Holy fuck, holy fucking fuck That intro of yours is fucking absurd It’s truly unreal how it fucking bops Like it blows my mind” This year talk of multiverses was widely spread Please let me swap me with a me who’s already dead Twenty twenty two
2.
I should stop feeding it, it’s swollen like a tick Does it despise me for neglecting it? It’s unfathomable, it’s become Lovecraftian Its shadow swallows me, I am lost within How could a man create something too big to see? Please have mercy on me, massive Steam library It haunts me in my dreams A chorus of hundreds of unplayed games screams Humble Bundle, DLC You buy this game, you get ten more for free Remake, sequel, rerelease Exponential, neverending increase It grows, it knows As I launch Rogue Legacy for the millionth time I feel the resentful glare of a million eyes I can’t know when, but this is my doom Ever it watches, ever it looms
3.
(lyrics randomly generated in a variety of ways) My best shoes were stolen by your grandmother There was shit in my car and it looks really great I am the most frustrated sandwich maker Don’t dare look at my ass My cat is in the bathroom with the boys They occasionally sip Baja Blast as well Your sister's residence is known to me On secret roads, Eager Beaver broke his twelve inches My finger is a good one for sure My banana and the drain are submerged Do back flips and stuff for hours Do not fill out this form again My feet were freezing, and my sandwich was so ancient The misfortune of tacos is the only positive outcome The vomiting portion is now available I fell so much like a lot Enter the NASCAR shelter On the dance floor Old feces circulating, traditional excrement Why doesn't father love my music Like he adores pizza topping? The green one’s a bit of a lot Booty, what more could you want? Kirby made it home safely He was never around me Crispy bear trap, yours to keep The cloaca drops deep Do anything but live or die That’s the sound of despair Comprehend my suffering Hack my booty like I'm hamburger
4.
Let’s just forget every meal we shared Every burrito Best friends and beefy cheese Goodbyes And the tasty bites When we realized We were running out of Baja Blast
5.
You once were there for me Back when I felt complete Now you’re just someplace that I used to eat You seem so happy now with your new customers We used to be like that, all gone in a blur You changed, and I changed- I guess no one’s to blame I went to Arby’s once but it wasn’t the same You baja broke my heart Could we go back to the start? But our souls pull apart This time I must depart Lines that take a million years Cup I filled with baja tears Wilted lettuce, soggy shell Trapped in my own taco hell Empty sauces, crunchy cheese Beans when I said “no beans please” Hair burritos, sticky shoes Taco Bell, this time we’re through
6.
Modern horror games are such a big disgrace What happened to quality like Maze with Loud Face? Or that weird grey peanut statue that snaps your neck Wish he was real so he could end my whole shit in one sec I scroll through itch.io, horror section mocking me An endless list of shit by kids in their pre-teens James Sunderland shakes his ass at his TV He killed his wife, but I wish that he’d kill me I have no games and I must scream Another Backrooms clone? I’ve seen that shit before A knock-off Siren Head? Oh, what a fucking bore I’ve played so many horror games That playing them is just a chore Fuckin spook me, bitch you won’t Just give me a cheap scare, all I ask you to bring I’ve long given up on joy, but I must feel something I was not afraid while your bullshit was played I feel fuckin robbed you only had one job Let’s remake RE 4 just like we did 3 and 2 Let’s do Silent Hill 2 and also Dead Space too Callisto Protocol is new, it’s not a total rut Except lol oops looks like that game kinda sucks butt I scroll through creepypasta, shit grammar mocking me Jeff the Killer fanfics and knockoffs are all that I see Mira the shiba inu was in control the whole time Please pup switch off my life, to live on is a crime I have no games and I must scream I don’t feel a thing
7.
[Glitch City Café Intro] [Murdering Mad Jack with Beanadryl Vocals] Crack open a can of beans with the boys [Gizzzard Kicker Vocals] B-E-A-N Had beans for lunch and had beans again I'm gonna make a scene when I spill the beans I got beans for eyes like I've never seen Beans from Even Stevens was my first kiss If you don't love beans then you can fuck off Beans are great, beans are good Beans are the very best food [A Challenger Approaches Synths] [Evocative "bonk" by Indonesian Bongo] [Original Fangster Vocals] It’s Original Fang bringin original fun Keepin’ beans on brand with a red bean bun Come on and take a bite, chow down tonight I need the power of beans so I can win this fight I gotta lotta edamame and nobody can stop me Make em fried, make em steamed, really nothing can top these In a hot pot, not gonna drop the party Now wash em all down with your grounds of coffee [Anti-PizzaBoy with Bean Machine Vocals] Gimme pinto, gimme lima Gimme that which I desiya Liberals think you can take my beans You’ll have to pry them from my cold dead hands Snowflakes best now what that means Try to dodge my Special Bean Cannon Some vegan tried to offer me beans He said “they’re GMO free” I like beans made by artificial means The best beans come from bean machines Dr Robotnik’s got my back [Polygon Horizon Vocals] I've got fat beans in my jeans They get the women screams You might think it is Heinz But it's alles meins I've got big beans in my jeans [Shotgun Guy and Beanadryl Vocals] I put beans in my ass, I put beans in my dickhole I fuckin snort big beans, beans [The David Jones Band Vocals] Sailing the seven seas Captain won’t give us beans We are so hungry, please Fill my canteen We will go to extremes Leading a mutiny This ain’t your brigantine We’re taking your beans Give us beans [Leonhart Verse and Vocals] Quick Bean Fact! Did you know that coffee grounds aren't actually beans? The "beans" come from the fruit Grown on coffea shrubs and trees Life is a lie, trust no one and discard your coffee Purge the caffeine from your veins Cleanse the untruths from your body Beans Consume nothing but beans One must consume nothing but beans [TRVSHBXVT Outro]
8.
9.
Since you vanished Wisp keeps coming around He feels at home, now that it’s a ghost town now Weeds have grown out of control, a jungle island now For months and months on the beach, Gulliver’s laid face down Millions of roaches now overrun your home A new bug collection to rival the museum’s own And still Isabelle hasn’t taken a lunch Nook won’t let her leave, at least I’ve got a hunch Shells piled high on the beach, with bottles mixed in too A huge wall has been formed that nothing can break through KK still comes for some reason Each Saturday he’s here, playing for nobody A pitiful turnout, who does he think he is- me? Did the patches bring you back? For a day or maybe a week? Right this moment your friends wait Wishing you’d just come and speak
10.
Decades ago every weekend Crammed on the couch laughing with friends Party and Kart, days Smashed away Echoes of echoes, drowned in delay Next Saturday you may stop by Stretched pretty thin, you said you’ll try May be too tired, or feel too low I’ll shoot a text, you’ll let me know We never felt decades ago The pulling of the undertow Every weekend we’d stay up late All through the week we couldn’t wait The final boss, we’d do him in Start a new file, play it again Bring your new game, you say it’s hard Start a file on my memory card Talk shit and laugh, constantly die May never win, but we’ll sure try Every weekend, tied up or tired All through the week, anxious and wired The final boss, we’ll never see Started a file, been too busy Got a new game, still in the box Just gotta find time on the clock Talk and make plans, constantly bail May never win, plans set to fail Save file is corrupted, data failed to read We only have our memories
11.
2020 Too 03:16
This album is a 10 but.. it’s all so doom and gloom We must address the stampede of elephants in the room So put your Wordles down, turn off your Elden Rings We need to tell you all about all the new awful things The James Webb Telescope didn’t find any aliens We’re alone in this cold universe without any friends The Vid eased up a bit, at least allegedly But the prices for stuff simply did not agree Elon bought Twitter Somehow stomped it even further down the shitter The new Pokemon games did a shits on the floor They look like Gamecube games, run like N64 Chris Rock got Final Smashed by the cool guy Fresh Prince Kanye got turned away by fuckin New Balance lol Would anyone love us if we were turned into worms? Lol it’s a “no” either way, that answer’s locked in firm We spent all year running up that hill How’s this for a deal with god? Kill me, for real Corn Kid can’t save us now We must expire somehow AI can’t save us now We must perish somehow Nothing can save us now No way, no how

about

Oops, we did it again. 2👌2👌 2 caps off the 👌 trilogy (or pentalogy, depending on how you wanna look at it) by going bigger and greasier than ever before. The most tracks and longest runtime? Check. Fifteen people on one song about beans? Check. A bleaker outlook than ever before? Heck.

Nab the instrumental version here:
(check back later!)

The DLC that preceded this release:
unicornhole.bandcamp.com/album/dlc-5

Previous full-length in the 👌 saga:
unicornhole.bandcamp.com/album/2-2

The DLC that came before 2👌2👌:
unicornhole.bandcamp.com/album/dlc-2

And the one that started it all, 👌:
unicornhole.bandcamp.com/album/-

Help Unicorn Hole play a show on the moon:
www.patreon.com/unicornhole

This album was released on 12/31/22.
Don't let anyone tell you anything different.

credits

released December 31, 2022

See? Bandcamp knows what's up.

Weekly Words and Grammar - Everything
Unicorn Hole - Everything Else

Guests:

A Challenger Approaches
achallengerapproaches.bandcamp.com/album/matrix-redux

Anti-PizzaBoy
anti-pizzaboy.bandcamp.com/music

The David Jones Band
thedavidjonesband.bandcamp.com/music

Dustin "Beanadryl" E

Gizzzard Kicker
"find us your fuckin self"

Glitch City Café
glitchcitycafe.bandcamp.com

Leonhart
leonhartultimate.bandcamp.com

Mitch "Bean Machine" R

Murdering Mad Jack
murderingmadjack.bandcamp.com

Original Fangster
originalfangster.bandcamp.com/album/weakarts

Polygon Horizon
polygonhorizon.bandcamp.com

Shotgun Guy
shotgunguy.bandcamp.com

TRVSHBXVT
trvshbxvt.bandcamp.com

American Fastfood is a parody/cover of
Never Meant by American Football

Eat your beans.

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Unicorn Hole Lexington, South Carolina

Uhole is a nintendocore band from South Carolina, since 2007

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