Let's start with the SNES
A giant turtle took your not-quite-wife
So you take his and his babies' lives
Wear tanooki skin so you can fly
Now ride a dinosaur- this dude's got to be high

Whip Medusa in her floppy boobs
Turn that severed horse head straight into glue
Whip that skeleton's bony dick
Eat some meat you found under a brick

This game's about pounding beavers if you know what I mean-
Smashing large rodents with overgrown front teeth
Your girlfriend looks like a hooker but you won't get a peek
But if you time it right she'll blow a kiss to your butt cheek

There's a fighting game with a panther lady
Who appears to have bananas on her chest
And a futuristic racing game
Where you can choose from almost five whole ships
SNES is the best!

Retro gaming is so surreal
Brings back all those childhood feels
Just give the cartridge one good blow
And you're ready to go

And the N64
This game's about taking pictures of cute little creatures
Which is almost as fun as the peg-them-in-the-face feature
You could slowly progress to the end, but that's kinda lame
Pluck a Diglett from the dirt and snap that shit
To instantly win the game

All 120 days of the year you'll find Jack breaking his back
Manual labor is a blast, who wouldn't wanna play that?
No really, try and see- you'll probably be quite surprised
Cause weeks melt away right in front of your eyes

And there's the wise cracking gecko stuck inside the TV
And no I don't mean the one saving you insurance money
Turtle stole the mustache's girl once again,
But this time the action is paper thin
Just ball his ass up, or even better-
Drop that bitch into a paper shredder

With devious nanner placement I'll give you hell
The only thing I've got to worry about is blue shells
And if you don't like karting, we could always just party

In this game strategy takes a back seat to luck
Yet still makes all your friends competitive as :0
The party's over, and everyone's trashed
A fight breaks out, everybody's gettin smashed
A gorilla gets killed by a cute, pink balloon
She finds the hand of god and murders it too

(Roughly 3:15 - 3:55 written by Are You Afraid of the Dog?)
Retro gaming – warp pipe shaming
Got Are You Afraid of the Dog - and Muffin singing along
So step right up if you wanna get pwned
Countless nights spent with our favorite sprites
In our dark rooms CRTs were the light

Original: https://soundcloud.com/uhole/no-scope-is-for-children-men
Vocal Guest: https://www.facebook.com/muffinandcupcake/
Music Guest: https://www.facebook.com/areyouafraidofthedog/