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HD Remakes Round 2

by Unicorn Hole and Pals

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sht
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sht Nice remakes of the old UHole songs [part 2]. Old midi stuff was great, but this is a new level!
Rereturn of the rerevenge (and the original) is one of my favorite songs in the genre!
Also I hope we will hear some new midi from UHole once again. maybe as a reference or something... Favorite track: Rereturn of the Rerevenge (with Weekly Words and Grammar and A Challenger Approaches).
Michael Risser
Michael Risser thumbnail
Michael Risser Unicorn Hole writes what must be some of the best Nintendocore ever released. Exceedingly clever lyrics, great mixing, and very, very good composition. 10/10 would listen again. Favorite track: Fables DX (with Got Item! and Starcutter).
She Wants The D-Pad
She Wants The D-Pad thumbnail
She Wants The D-Pad Amazing as always. These songs are so much fun. Love the style. Favorite track: Rereturn of the Rerevenge (with Weekly Words and Grammar and A Challenger Approaches).
M0SHB1T
M0SHB1T thumbnail
M0SHB1T Every time I want to awkwardly dance while ripping out my testicles and laughing I just drop in this Unicorn Hole release and let things happen. It's pure magic how this dude manages to melt such different styles together so well. It's masterfully crafted and triggers every single hidden lust in my mind. I can totally recommend listening to it for sex therapy, it makes your penis grow 3 inches. EVERY. TIME. Favorite track: Warp Pipe Shaming (with Are You Afraid of the Dog and Muffin).
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1.
Nintendocore! From Myspace days of yore- a genre I truly adore Where Mario meets metal, and stomps down on the pedal My favorite hobbies making sweet, sweet love And who'd have thought that it fits like glove? But there are naysayers, imagine that Elitists with their monocles and their top hats They listen to one band, and tell us we should stop Well sometimes doodoo floats its way up to the top Like if aliens landed during a show by Justin Beebs They'd blow us all to shit faster than Samus blew up Zebes In love with childhood memories Of warp pipes and big dungeon boss keys We've accepted that our nostalgia gleams- The source of our artistry And I know that those days are now long gone But I will never not want the feels back There is a difference between "new" and "upgrade" So I won't let old days fade to black N-core was born in 200X Now let's fight about when it was at its apex Bands that most would call rad exist both now and then Bands that most would call bad run rampant once again But art is art, be it Mozart or farts The only thing that matters is that it comes from our hearts And N-core is love We may be underdogs, but we are here to stay We're 3 legit 5 quit, so waste no breath on "go away!" (Roughly 2:15 - 3:05 written by A Challenger Approaches) A Challenger Approaches with Weekly Words and Grammar Nintendo bros, that you'd best know Cause we slam like hammers Bleeps and bloops and breakdowns too Bits and blastbeats- it's what we do! So we'll just keep pumpin out our nostalgic lyrics about Awesome stuff like Link and Cloud duking it out Alright, so to recap this is us, it's what we do And we go fuckin hard! It's been in our blood since the first time That we pressed start Original: https://soundcloud.com/uhole/the-return-of-the-revenge-of Vocal Guest: https://www.facebook.com/weeklywordsandgrammar/ Music Guest: https://www.facebook.com/RIP.MorbidlyABeast/
2.
Let's start with the SNES A giant turtle took your not-quite-wife So you take his and his babies' lives Wear tanooki skin so you can fly Now ride a dinosaur- this dude's got to be high Whip Medusa in her floppy boobs Turn that severed horse head straight into glue Whip that skeleton's bony dick Eat some meat you found under a brick This game's about pounding beavers if you know what I mean- Smashing large rodents with overgrown front teeth Your girlfriend looks like a hooker but you won't get a peek But if you time it right she'll blow a kiss to your butt cheek There's a fighting game with a panther lady Who appears to have bananas on her chest And a futuristic racing game Where you can choose from almost five whole ships SNES is the best! Retro gaming is so surreal Brings back all those childhood feels Just give the cartridge one good blow And you're ready to go And the N64 This game's about taking pictures of cute little creatures Which is almost as fun as the peg-them-in-the-face feature You could slowly progress to the end, but that's kinda lame Pluck a Diglett from the dirt and snap that shit To instantly win the game All 120 days of the year you'll find Jack breaking his back Manual labor is a blast, who wouldn't wanna play that? No really, try and see- you'll probably be quite surprised Cause weeks melt away right in front of your eyes And there's the wise cracking gecko stuck inside the TV And no I don't mean the one saving you insurance money Turtle stole the mustache's girl once again, But this time the action is paper thin Just ball his ass up, or even better- Drop that bitch into a paper shredder With devious nanner placement I'll give you hell The only thing I've got to worry about is blue shells And if you don't like karting, we could always just party In this game strategy takes a back seat to luck Yet still makes all your friends competitive as :0 The party's over, and everyone's trashed A fight breaks out, everybody's gettin smashed A gorilla gets killed by a cute, pink balloon She finds the hand of god and murders it too (Roughly 3:15 - 3:55 written by Are You Afraid of the Dog?) Retro gaming – warp pipe shaming Got Are You Afraid of the Dog - and Muffin singing along So step right up if you wanna get pwned Countless nights spent with our favorite sprites In our dark rooms CRTs were the light Original: https://soundcloud.com/uhole/no-scope-is-for-children-men Vocal Guest: https://www.facebook.com/muffinandcupcake/ Music Guest: https://www.facebook.com/areyouafraidofthedog/
3.
CHAPTER 1 Sitting, waiting, more bored than he thought possible Transferring boogers back and forth between nostrils And looking at lolcats just to pass the time Hitler decides he should check on the tribe A group that lives under his belly flabs To respect their culture he vows never to have abs Finally his assistant barges in "The bombs are ready and they look like kids!" "What!?" says Hitler "what the hell do you mean?" "They've got pigtails so they won't look menacing!" "That's nice" says Hitler, "now go make my lunch! And if you don't hurry then your face will be punched!" And so he does it, just the way the fuhrer likes The cheese on bottom, to represent the kikes "And here's your side of Cheetos, you mean ol bitch!" He rubs the orange dust on the bomb control switch, jerk! CHAPTER X (Roughly 1:15 - 1:40 written by Starcutter) Starcutter slashes in, runs the assistant through Killed before he even knew Hitler, shocked, shouts "nein nein nein!" "How'd you know my kill count, ya dirty swine? But I'm batting 1000, ya heard?" Hitler shouts "you'll die you turd!" Starcutter closes in, brings Hitler to his end "I knew I could, but this is a time bend So I'll be gone and start this scene again.." CHAPTER 2 The sandwich eaten, Hitler moves on to dessert Sacred gummy bears that he knows how to convert Into pure dark power by biting off the heads Some have black spots but he eats them until he is fed The assistant comes back with a warning A great foe arrives by morning Potato God sends his son to fight And that shit's going down, like, tonight Nazi model 552 Zamboni- it was the final straw Encroaching on indigenous ground squirrels was its crime And the Potato God saw Hitler's dog Fufu steals some table scraps "You goddamn dog, I don't have time for this crap! Jesus approaches our fight will be great! I know I'll beat him, so here I'll wait!" CHAPTER 3 "The army that potato god controls Outnumbers our own pifold! They've 3.14 times our men They double us and then almost again! Irrational, yes, and it doesn't sound good We could die, Hitler, we really could!" Hitler sees the full gravity now he Looks back at his life and wonders how he Never lost his v-card in art school, Better lose it quick or die uncool He grabs his assistant, a stout young beau They lock eyes, madly remove their clothes Through the sphincter the corpus spongiosum goes But something is twisted here besides their toes Hitler's moans become harsh and raspy His eyes sink in, he looks quite ghastly The dark gummy spots should not have been ignored The fuhrer has become a zombified whore Brains and butts are what he hungers for But all he'll get is pain and gore Jesus arrives, shoots a rocket in the window It's beautiful, flames and guts fall like snow He rides away on his t-rex Also, Hitler was a cyborg or some shit I guess Original: https://kittyonfirerecords.bandcamp.com/album/some-songs Vocal Guest: https://www.facebook.com/gotitemmusic/ Music Guest: https://www.facebook.com/starcuttermusic/
4.
Hello, welcome to Facebook Where you can stalk, poke, and like Hope you weren't planning to do anything else with your life Because you're stuck, you've become one of us Give in, add all your friends- where is the harm? Upload half naked pictures, plant your own farm Ashley posted that she likes Mike, and she means like-like So now you can all like like that she likes- like like-likes Mike You've got to make sure that you Add each one of your close friends In other words every human being That you've ever made eye contact with God forbid you miss that picture of your uncle's cat Oh look some Greenday lyrics Aren't you glad that you saw that? Facebook is 4chan's trashcan Where old jokes go to die You're thinking "cool story bro" I'm thinking "can I rhyme die with die?" "Share my Facebook post for Jesus If you don't you'll burn in hell!" That's right, it's a brand new commandment Add eternal pain to your interests, you may as well You'll notice the strange trend that All your friends are dating hackers If your girlfriend pulls that shit Might I recommend you smack her? You just got a new girlfriend? You feel that special tingle? Calm down, it's not official Because her page still says she's single If she forgot her password, then single she will stay I'm sorry you're in love, but Facebook's the authority And if you stay logged on, even when you're gone Somehow, some way, something will turn you gay (Roughly 2:05 - 3:00 written by Elemental Plague) Elemental Plague, the opposite of lame Without Facebook, wouldn't have heard their name So I guess it's useful sometimes Chad and me with these guys is prime! But still yet.. Maybe this site isn't right for you You've decided that you are through You're ready to leave behind this fad? Well that's just too fucking bad Cause you can't delete a Facebook profile Cause they know you'll come crawling back To them you're a filthy hobo, fiendin for some crack Also your crops will die! Original: https://soundcloud.com/uhole/its-about-time-we-face-book Vocal Guest: Music Guest: https://www.facebook.com/ElementalPlagueNxC/
5.
So you think the first generation Of Pokemon is cool, but that's it? Sorry but I gotta say, that's just some Tauros shit Pokemon is still the tits, maybe you just can't handle it Shorts aren't as rad as Pokemon- and they're Comfy and easy to wear Gen one taught us love when we were only eight It taught us murder- remember Gary's Raticate? His mom- Requires a Pokeflute to wake up every morning Has a Heavy Ball modifier of plus forty Ohhh, no I just ditten This shit be critical hittin You had the only Mew on the playground, You were the boss of middle school But after that if you had Pokemon at all You just weren't cool How could you turn your back On the best friends you had? They'd take a Bubble Beam for you They are true comrades If hating on Pokemon is your goal Then YOU SUCK says Rapidash/Keldeo Hole Harder than Giga Drain You're so lame that it's insane You blow my mind, but you don't care Like a Diglett sitting in a chair "But every game's the same Played it once, you've played em all" Now remind me how you defend football (Roughly 1:55 - 2:45 written by Glitch City CafΓ©) Let's get back to Gary's mom, yes let's discuss that ho She sees more random dongs than the busiest of Dittos Trashier than Garbodor, easier than Pokemon Snap She needs a hefty serving of Double Pimp Slap More people go missing in her Cloyster than in Mount Moon Escape Ropes are as useless as fighting with a Kakuna The sight of her turns a Thick Club into a puny nub Gary only exists thanks to a trusty PP-Up Ohhhhhhh shit son He's gonna need a burn heal for that one! Original: https://soundcloud.com/uhole/ive-got-649-problems-but Vocal Guest: https://www.facebook.com/GoEskimo/ Music Guest: https://soundcloud.com/glitchcitycafe

about

The followup to HD Remakes Round 1 (imagine that shit), this EP mega-evolves five more of my classic tracks (technically seven) into modern Uhole jams. To keep things interesting, each track features a guest vocalist, and a guest composer adding a short bridge. If you hear a guest you like, follow their link in the lyrics for that track!

Grab the first album in this series here:
unicornhole.bandcamp.com/album/hd-remakes-round-1

And the instrumental version here:
tinyurl.com/2p95df9e

Help Unicorn Hole play a show on the moon:
www.patreon.com/unicornhole

credits

released August 15, 2016

I allow my vocal guests to record lines wherever they like, so if you're curious about who sung what, feel free to ask! The guest composers are credited in the lyrics of their respective songs. Note that the guests wrote ALL of the music for their parts, including the guitars and drums. I mixed everything in my style, but the composition is all theirs! I wrote all of the lyrics though. I also made the cover art. If you're curious about anything else, just ask, yo.

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Unicorn Hole Lexington, South Carolina

Nintendocore artist from Lexington, SC. Uhole is Lawrence Nelson.

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